THINK before you speak...
       Here are six reasons why you should think
 before you speak -
 
       the last one is great!
 
       Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
 
 
       immediately take the words back...
 
       Here are the Testimonials of a few people who
 did....
 
       FIRST TESTIMONY:
 
       I walked into a hair salon with my husband and
 
 
       three kids in tow and asked loudly,
 
       "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a
 blow job?"
 
       I turned around and walked back out and never
 went back.
 
       My husband didn't say a word...
 
       he knew better.
 
       SECOND TESTIMONY:
 
       I was at the golf store comparing different
 kinds of golf balls.
 
       I was unhappy with the women's type I had been
 using.
 
       After browsing for several minutes,
 
       I was approached by one of the good-looking
 gentlemen
 
       who works at the store. He asked if he could
 help me.
 
       Without thinking, I looked at him and said,

       "I think I like playing with men's balls."
 
       THIRD TESTIMONY:
 
       My sister and I were at the mall and
 
       passed by a store that sold a
 
      variety of candy and nuts.
 
       As we were looking at the display case,
 
       the boy behind the counter asked if we needed
 any help.
 
       I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your
 nuts."
 
       My sister started to laugh hysterically.
 
       The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and
 walked away.
 
       To this day, my sister has never let me
 forget.
 
       FOURTH TESTIMONY:
 
       While in line at the bank one afternoon,
 
       my toddler decided to release
 
       some pent-up energy and ran amok.
 
       I was finally able to grab hold of
 
       her after receiving looks of disgust
 
       and annoyance from other patrons.
 
       I told her that if she did not start behaving
 
       "right now" she would be punished.
 
       To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
 
       said in a voice just as threatening,
 
       "If you don't let me go right now,
 
       I will tell Grandma that I saw you
 
       kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
 
       The silence was deafening after this
 enlightening exchange.
 
       Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
 
 
       I mustered up the last of my dignity and
 
       walked out of the bank with my daughter in
 tow.
 
       The last thing I heard as
 
       the door closed behind me,
 
       were screams of laughter.
 
       FIFTH TESTIMONY:
 
       Have you ever asked your child a question too
 many times?
 
       My three-year-old son had a lot of problems
 with potty training
 
       and I was on him constantly.
 
       One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
 lunch
 
       in between errands.
 
       It was very busy, with a full dining room.
 
       While enjoying my taco, I smelled something
 funny,
 
       so of course I checked my seven-month-old
daughter,
 
       and she was clean.
 
       Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go
 potty in a while.
 
       I asked him if he needed to go, and he said
 "No".
 
       I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had
 an accident,
 
       and I don't have any clean clothes with me."
 
       Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't
 have an accident?"
 
       "No," he replied.
 
       I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
 
 
       because the smell was getting worse.
 
       So, I asked one more time,
 
       "Danny, did you have an accident?"
 
       This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
 
 
       bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
 
       "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
 
       While 30 people nearly choked to death on
 their tacos laughing,
 
       he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
 
       An older couple made me feel better,
 
       thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever
 had!
 
       LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
 
       This one had most of the state of Michigan
 laughing for 2 days
 
       and a very embarrassed female news anchor who
 will,
 
       in the future, likely think before she speaks.
 
 
       What happens when you predict snow, but don't
 get any?
 
       We had a female news anchor who,
 
       the day after it was supposed to have snowed
 and didn't,
 
       turned to the weatherman and asked:
 
       "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me
 last night?"
 
       Not only did HE have to leave the set,
 
       but half the crew did too, they were laughing
 so hard!
 
       Now, didn't that feel good?
 
       Pass it on to someone you know who needs a
 laugh,
 
       and remember...
 
       we all say things we don't really mean,
 
       so think before you speak.