New
Living Will Form
I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do
not wish
to
be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no
circumstances
should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan
politicians who
couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or
lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the
bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least
ONE of
the following:
______a Bloody Mary
______a Beer
______a Margarita
______a Double JD on the rocks
______a Martini of any kind
______a Vodka and Tonic
______a Steak
______Shrimp, Lobster, crab legs or Sea Bass
______The remote control
______a Bowl of ice cream
______The sports page
______Chocolate
______Sex.
It should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a
determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person
and
attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call
it a
day.
At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to
come
do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise
their
glasses to toast the good times we have had.
Signature: ___________________________
Date: _______________________________
NOTE: I also hear that in
patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of
them
don't
even need embalming when their time comes.