One day, Jay Dini came home and was 
greeted by his wife dressed in a 
very
sexy nighty. "Tie me up," she purred, 
"and you can do anything you 
want." 
So he tied her up and went fishing. 

Quickie # 2

A woman came home, screeching!  her 
car into the driveway, and ran
Into the house.  She slammed the door
and shouted at the top of her 
lungs,
"Honey, pack your bags.  I won the damn 
lottery!"  The husband said,
"Oh my God!  What should I pack, beach 
stuff or mountain stuff?" 

"Doesn't matter," she said.  "Just get 
the hell out." 

Quickie # 3

Marriage is a relationship in which 
one person is always right, and
the other is a husband. 

Quickie # 4

Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply 
for a
driver's license.  First, of course, he 
had to take an eye sight 
test.
The optician showed him a card with the 
letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, 
"I know the guy." 
  

Quickie # 5

Mother Superior called all the nuns 
together and said to them, "I
must tell you all something. We have 
a case of gonorrhea in the 
convent." 
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at 
the back.  "I'm so tired of
chardonnay."  

Quickie # 7

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North 
Carolina mountain man, 
was
drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army 
issued him a comb.  That
afternoon the Army barber sheared off all
his hair. 

On his second day,the Army issued Herman a 
toothbrush.  That 
afternoon the
Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.  

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock 
strap.  The Army has 
been
> looking for Herman for 51 years