LITTLE
CHILDREN AND THE CHURCH
A
little boy was attending his first wedding.
After
the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man
marry?"
"Sixteen,"
the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an
answer
so quickly.
"How
do you know that?"
"Easy,"
the little boy said.
"All
you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said,
4
better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
º°'°º?o,
,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°
After
a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced
to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when
I
grow up."
"That's
okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well,"
said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
and
I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and
listen."
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?
A
6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
service,
"And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who
passed
trash against us."
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?
A
boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How
do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why,
God tells me."
"Oh,
then why do you keep crossing things out?"
?º°'°º?o,
,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?
A
little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and
on.
Finally, she leanedover to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we
give
him the money now, will he let us go?"
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º
After
the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny
sobbed
all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked
him
three times what was wrong.
Finally,
the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in
a
Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º
Terri
asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite
Bible
stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four
people
on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to
represent.
"The
Flight to Egypt," was his reply.
Pointing
at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph,
and
Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh,
that's Pontius - the pilot!"
?
º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º
The
Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you
say
prayers before eating?"
"No
sir," little Johnny replies, I don't have to. My mom is a good
cook."
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?
A
college drama group presented a play in which one character would
stand
on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!"
A
stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring,
and
the actor would drop from view.
The
play was well received. When the actor playing the part became
ill,
another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the
new
actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the
rope,
and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No
amount
of tugging on the rope could make him descend.
One
student in the balcony jumped up and yelled:
"Hallelujah!
Hell is full!"
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?
A
little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a
bedtime
story.
From
time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up
to
touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own
cheek,
then his again.
Finally
she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes,
sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh,"
she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes,
indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling
their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting
better
at it, isn't he ?"
"Life
may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we
might
as
well
dance!"
Happiness
keeps you sweet. Trials keep you strong. Sorrows
keep you
human. Failures
keep you humble. Success keeps you glowing. But
only
God keeps you going.