An elderly Illinois lady did her shopping at Publix and, upon returning
to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.  She
dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the
top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it!  "Get out of the
car!"

    The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran
like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping
bags into the trunk of the car and got into driver's seat. She was so shaken
that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and
then it dawned on her why.  A few minutes later, she found her own car
parked four or five spaces farther down in the same row.
    She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station.  The
sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to
the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car
jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet
tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges
were filed.

    The moral of the story is that if you're going to have a Senior Moment,
make it a good one.