How do they survive?

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you

could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a

half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the

teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six,

nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen

nuggets, but I can order six?"

"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

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I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items

and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I

picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash

register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get

mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the

"divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?"

I said to her"I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today."

She

said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to

what had just happened.

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A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy

drive and pulling it out very quickly. When asked what she was

doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept

asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

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 I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.

"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have

replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get

into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience

store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you

have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she

answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and

manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over

there and

check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

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Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One

day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost

out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copy machine paper,"

the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining

blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to

make five "blank" copies.

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I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home

was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire

need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra

in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that

the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to

make a sandwich.

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My neighbor works in the operations department in the central

office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they

have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a

woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke

coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

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Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a

metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to

a photocopy machine.

The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police

pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't

telling the truth.

Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

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A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she

needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants.

The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be

fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer.....

Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

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Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."