TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North
America.
MARIA: Here
it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered
America?
CLASS:
Maria.
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TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of
the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that
says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication
on the
floor?
JOHN: You
told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN:
K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s
wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula
for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said
it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing
we have today that we
didn't have
ten years ago.
WINNIE:
Me!
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TEACHER: Guss, why do you always get so
dirty?
GUSS:
Well,
I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence
starting with "I."
MILLIE:
I
is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always
say, "I am."
MILLIE:
All
right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only
chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie,
do you
know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:
Because
George still had the ax in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me
frankly, do you say prayers
before eating?
SIMON: No
sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same
as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No,
teacher, it's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who
keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.