Some profound goodies.....
A
distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that
the medication you prescribed has
to
be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes,
I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There
was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm
wondering, then, just how serious is my condition
because
this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
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An
older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting
surgery and he insisted that his son,
a
renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As
he was about to get the anesthesia
he
asked to speak to his son.
"Yes,
Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son;
do
your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
if
something happens to me ..
your
mother is going to come
and
live with you and your wife...."
-----------------------------------------
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you
stop
lying about your age and start bragging about it.
------------------------------------------
The
older we get, the fewer things seem
worth
waiting in line for
------------------------------------------
Some
people try to turn back their odometers.
Not
me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've
traveled a long way and some of the
roads
weren't paved.
--------------------------------------------
How
old would you be
if
you didn't know how old you are?
----------------------------------------------
When
you are dissatisfied and would
like
to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
---------------------------------------------
You
know you are getting old when everything
either
dries up or leaks.
----------------------------------------------
I
don't know how I got over the hill
without
getting to the top.
----------------------------------------------
One
of the many things no one tells you about aging
is
that it is such a nice change from being young.
----------------------------------------------
Ah,
being young is beautiful,
but
being old is comfortable.
-----------------------------------------------
Old age is when former classmates
are so gray
and wrinkled and bald, they don't
recognize you.
----------------------------------------------
If
you don't learn to laugh at trouble,
you
won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
--------------------------------------
First
you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then
you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's
worse when you forget to pull it down.
-------------------------------------------
Long
ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with
sticks, it was called witchcraft..
Today,
it's called golf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
WELL PLANNED LIFE????
Two
women met for the first time since graduating from high school.
One
asked the other, "You were always so organized in school,
Did
you manage to live a well planned life? "
"
Yes," said her friend.
"My
first marriage was to a millionaire;
my
second marriage was to an actor;
my
third marriage was to a preacher;
and
now I'm married to an undertaker."
Her
friend asked,
"What
do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"
"One
for the money,
two
for the show,
three
to get ready,
and
four to go.
Getting
old is soooo hard at times.