Ouch !

 A newlywed couple had only been married for two
 weeks. The husband, although
 very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the
 town and party with his
 old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey,
 I'll be right back."

 "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

 "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to
 have a beer."
 
 The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She
 opened the door to the
 refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of
 beer, brands from 12
 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India,
 etc.
 
 The husband didn't know what to do, and the only
 thing that he could think
 of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the
 bar...you know...they have
 frozen glasses..."
 
 He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the
 wife interrupted him by
 saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She
 took a huge beer mug out
 of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting
 chills just holding it.
 
 The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie
 roll, but at the bar
 they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really
 delicious... I won't be
 long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
 
 "You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened
 the oven and took out 5
 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings,
 pigs in blankets,
 mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
 
 "But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...
 there's swearing,
 dirty words and all that..."
 
 "You want dirty words, cutie pie?...
 
 "LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN
 YOUR GODDAMN FROZEN  MUG
 AND EAT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU ARE
 MARRIED NOW, AND  YOU
 AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?"
 
 > > .....and, they lived happily ever after.